Okay, this is just too awesome not to pass along. My score was 26.  And the return of the bitches tag!

Check out this Deadspin link and tell me you don’t agree. Sure, it’s just a Miller Lite and he’s still a big tool. But I enjoyed it. Especially ’cause he’s at Packers game of all things.

So my mom is often the source of many of my blog posts as she forwards me interesting articles from various sources. This morning she sent me this one that almost made me fly off my hinges. Many of you have probably noticed the trend mentioned in the article: the neck tie. I hate, I repeat hate seeing kids out in ties. I feel it proves to me two things: they don’t have a desk job (or for that fact, perhaps they don’t have any job) and they are, most likely, a tool who thinks they have all the answers. Sorry to judge on looks here guys, but I’m just saying. Wearing a neck tie out completely loses its appeal if you’ve ever worn one to work, and then seeing one out just reminds you of work. Not what I want to be reminded of when I’m out trying to forget the work week at the bottom of some pint glass somewhere. Hence why I like dive bars. No neck ties in dive bars (exceptions - lower east side and probably Brooklyn)

It’s not about looking good or fashion for me really. I mean, if you can rock it and look good fine, but the thing is these are a lot of the same kids who would probably get on me for holding down a desk job where I occasionally have to rock a tie. They might say I’ve sold my soul to the man (admittedly, this might be true), but at the same time they’re rocking the fashion of my job. How does that make sense? Fucking hipsters.

While on the one hand I’m reading Jonathan Franzen’s The Corrections, on the other I just read a rather long blog about the possible beautification benefits one can receive by taken a cum shot to the face essentially. I don’t really get the whole cum shot thing honestly. Not really my scene I suppose (either as receiver or quaterback of said shot to the face - Ow, my eye!), but some interesting stuff came out of that blog (do you see what I did there?). All in all, it seems that semen is not the way to youth, unless its someone else’s youth. Mainly a babies. A baby is very young. But yeah, they really break it down over there at Jezebel so you should check it out. Especially any of you ladies expecting to get a facial and rub it in later tonight. It is Friday after all.

Someone probably made a lot of money off of this scam, but I’m just shocked people fell for something like this. Are you kidding me? There are people that stupid? I mean, who follows random stock advice that shows up in their email?

However, interestingly enough, this one was particularly successful. If you were smart enough to act like someone who sent the email out rather than someone who received it (ie, tracking the bogus stock very closely and selling at a certain point knowing that it was going to bomb a little afterwards) then you might have been able to profit, but I’m still shocked that people actually checked this stock out. WHY?!?!?! I really need to start spamming people, because apparently it actually works. Damn, I knew I was behind the times.

Seriously? Like for real? Now that the N-word has been symbolically determined as illegal - in essence, accomplishing nothing - apparently bitch is the next target as well as ho - if nothing else, this article taught me that it is, in fact, ho and not hoe. This is just overt censorship. The N-word I understand because it goes along with the whole “Hey, we’re sorry we had you in chains and beat you for a couple of centuries back there and then just generally discriminated” movement. But bitch? While yes, it is used in a derogatory manner, it is not nearly as steeped in offensive, degrading history and in no way deserves to be banned (however uselessly).

I would be incensed if anything like that went through. Hell, I’d lose an entire tag. What the fuck? But seriously, it makes absolutely zero sense to ban a word such as “bitch.” What if someone actually used it in reference to a female dog? Would that still be trouble? Or what about all those down ass bitches out there? That is a term of endearment. And it’s not even used just for women. There’s also an Eddie Griffin skit on a Dr. Dre album I believe where he describes the difference between women, hos, and bitches or something along those lines.

Anyway, outrageous.

Things are not going well for one Ron Mexico, aka Michael Vick. If you’ve been following, there’s pretty damning evidence against him in this whole dog fighting, animal cruelty, conspiracy, gambling debacle, and to make matters worse, Tony Taylor has entered into a plea agreement. Generally, this is pretty bad when someone with intimate knowledge of crimes enters into a plea agreement in which all the other defendants have plead not guilty. That’s just not a good sign for the other fellows. At least in my limited legal knowledge. And everyone’s up in arms about it: Senators, representatives, animal rights organizations, other NFL players, big-tittied gambling writers, everyone really. People want blood, so to speak.

And they should get it. If it’s proved that Michael Vick had anything to do with this (or as much to do with it as is being alleged), then he should be held responsible, hands down. And with the recent events of Paris Hilton serving time and now whatever happens to Lindsey Lohan, maybe Vick will actually get what’s coming to him (again, if he is in fact proven guilty). Sometimes I think this is exactly what the NFL needs to do. Goodell has shown some iron-fist ruling techniques with the suspensions of Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, and Chris Henry, so maybe he’ll actually let this one with Vick play out in the eyes of the law like it’s supposed to. This would be good. Finally send a message that there is some law and order out there. I don’t buy the idea that the NFL or the NBA is full of thugs and that’s why stuff like this happens, but there are bad guys in the leagues just like everywhere else, and they need to face the consequences and penalties of their actions (too easy football analogy/metaphor - I won’t even say it).

UPDATE: Smoking Gun’s got the Summary of Facts.

As you may or may not know, an NBA ref has been found to have connections to the mob and to have fixed games. Terrible news. Bill Simmon’s wrote a good article on it, and ESPN also had an interesting article with Brandon Lang, sports handicapper, discussing how an NBA referee might fix a game. But really what I found most interesting about the article is, one, look at the picture of the guy who wrote the article. Yikes. And two, those two on the left look nothing alike. Apparently, McConaughy’s character in Two For The Money was based on one Brandon Lang, and looking at it, I see the based on is solely on his story and not his ahem rugged good looks. I just think it’s funny how they’ll cast people who look nothing like their real life counterparts sometimes. Then, of course, sometimes they get it frighteningly right. Capote being a great example (Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a scarily good Truman Capote). Hoop Dreams got it right too (only kidding, that was a documentary).

So this clearly bodes ill for the basketball world, but hopefully some good will come of it. Hopefully the NBA will grab its bootstraps and pull itself out of the muck; new and improved. Time can only tell, but some serious changes are needed. As for actors not looking like their real world counterparts, make-ups only getting better so I’m sure that’ll get better too although I’d prefer people write original screenplays rather than adaptations of life.

So, you know how I reported (ha, right, reported) on the fact that the iPhone was going for about a 400 dollar premium on Friday/Saturday? Well, now a lot of people must feel stupid for entirely different reasons. If you look on eBay now, no one is bidding on the phones and the starting/buy it now prices have all gone down. Why? Because you could’ve walked into a store on Saturday and walked out with a phone. Regular price. So this means that there were people standing online thinking, I’m gonna get 3-400 bucks out of this, and are now stuck with an extra iPhone. And then there’s the people who spent a g or more on the phone thinking “Ha! Damn the man and his lines!” Now you can get bundles where you get two iPhones on eBay. Don’t know what that does for you, but you go ahead, guy.

So a lesson to all you in the internetosphere: get off eBay and just go the next day.

If anyone was reading this blog before, they’ll notice something a little different if they’re reading today.  Mainly, that the entire blog is gone.  Wasn’t that fun?  Well, we had a little problem when we tried to streamline everything and set up the reMODELed Magazine site (which is up now, with funky, junky Coming Soon banner).  So we’re here and starting from the beginning, maybe with a little more coherency but mostly likely not.

So to start from the top, I’m Michael Shane (not Petey Pab as I tried to convince you last time around).  An NYU graduate.  General ruler with iron fist, overlord type around these parts.  I’m founder, director, owner, operator, and so that means essentially everything is my fault most likely ’cause sometimes I look something like this:

Good times.  Anyway, this blog and my role here is to fill the gaps between issues of reMODELed with news, reviews, clips, pics, shtick, and other good and irrelevant things.  I’ll be the general writer here.  I’ve got lots of opinions and luckily know how to both read and write. Handy skills.  We’ll have some other contributers (maybe?) and metanarratives (yeah, meta will come up I’m sure).

And hopefully at some point we’ll hear from you (whoever you are…Jed?)